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Tag Archives: Funny

Horrorscopes: October

Horrorscopes: October

Since midsem break is well and truly over and we’re heading into the worst part of the semester, you’re probably trying to find something to distract you. Don’t you worry, we’ve got you covered with this instalment of “Making vague predictions about your life based on what day of the …

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Doctor’s Notes : Uni Student Edition

Doctor's Notes : Uni Student Edition

Date – Week 6 Patient Name – Every Uni Student Age – Too young for mid life crises, also a little premature for quarter life crises. Patient complains about – Regular bouts of “just can’t”s Physically not being able to become functional by 9am Caffeine dependency A last minute panic …

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Why Are This Year’s Bachelorettes So Mean?

Why are this years bachelorettes so mean?

This year’s version of The Bachelor is different. The contestants are… how would mum say it? Strong willed? Fiercely independent? Highly strung? Oh hell I’ll say it, they’re mean. You know what? They’re not just plain old mean. They are some Regina George, Blair Waldorf, Cersei Lannister level mean girls. …

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Love Keeps Dying On Us

Love Keeps Dying On Us

We’ve all seen the video compilations of celebrity couples that’ll make you “believe in love”. We’ve also all seen the reactions and articles in response to the aforementioned couples’ announcement of their legal separation, deciding for us that “love is dead”. If one were to count the number of times …

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3 Things You Shouldn’t DIY : Uni Student Edition

3 Things You Shouldn't DIY : Uni Student Edition

There are things humans are, as a general rule, not equipped to handle. Then there are other things that specific humans are incapable of. The self sufficiency of humans went from building their own homes and hunting their own food to hiring a team of professionals to handle it. Until …

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An Ode To Motivation

An Ode To Motivation

What a vibrant, lovely thing you were And how unjustly early you were taken from us. I remember there were days, At the beginning of the semester, Where you were still with us. You would move my legs all the way to 9. a.m lectures. You would raise my arms …

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Procrastination And Motivation Are Synonyms

Procrastination And Motivation Are Synonyms

It’s Week 13, time to get some solid work done! Time to sit down, power up that laptop, get a fresh new document opened annnndddd……is that hunger I feel? It’s been three hours since lunch and the six snacks you’ve had since then have long worn off. You should go …

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The Weirdest Foods Ever

The Weirdest Foods Ever

Food glorious food what a glorious strange feeling. Everybody loves good nosh, and with the Student Cookbook launch this week, we’ve all got food on our minds. But what about those meals that surpass the boundaries of gourmet, fusion or hipster cool right into the realm of weird food. Read …

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The Immortalisation Of Food

Feast To Your Needs Content

Was that a moment of hope you felt just then? Let it die. Be fair to yourself. You googled the place beforehand, just to see how photogenic the food really was…goddangit there’s flowers involved. Maybe you can order the ugliest thing on the menu….naturally it’s the one thing you’re allergic …

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Tech-free Life; The Beginning

Tech-free Life; The Beginning.

At around five in the afternoon the CBD starts to fill up with tired, empty faces. Edging forward in a weary shuffle; their last dregs of focus relinquished to small, silver screens.  From a distance it’s slightly strange and even sort-of sad. Not the emptiness mind you. Apathy is an extremely …

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TV Review: Girlboss

TV Review: Girlboss

Feisty, frantic, and fearless are just some of the words that spring to mind when the character of Sophia Marlow (Britt Robertson) first appears on screen. Loosely based on the rags to riches story explored in Sophia Amoruso’s autobiography, #girlboss, the Netflix original comedy ‘Girlboss’ will take you on an …

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Words Of The Internet: Triggered

Words Of The Internet: Triggered

To say it is to cause it. PSA – Trigger Warning. What does triggered mean to you? Induced/caused To retreat into one’s own neck in anger gif of a red beanie-d man violently convulsing Blind, ill placed anger That One Friend. This word in the hands of the right/wrong friend …

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Understanding “Woke,” Internet-speak, And How To Succeed In Making 12-year Olds Cry

Understanding "Woke," internet-speak, and how to succeed in making 12-year olds cry.

On my 5th birthday, my Father took me on his knee, looked me directly in the eye and said, “Son, you are one hell of a prenatal screwup. SMDH.” It wasn’t until years later, with the advent of urban dictionary, that I found out what the slang-speaking, acronym using drunk …

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Words Of The Internet: Extra

EXTRA – The use of it, is to be it. You may have heard it, seen it, meme-ed it, used it ironically, or even used it ironically so many times that for better or for worse, it has now embedded itself into your daily vocabulary. Either way, the word ‘extra’ …

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How To: Get Your Crush To Like You

Crushes can be tricky. In year six, I gave mine love poems and roses before asking her out. She said no. I cried while listening to James Blunts’ “Goodbye My Lover” on repeat. These days, I’m marginally better at attracting the opposite sex. Here are some tips I’ve picked up …

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Uni Student Celebrates Living In First World Country After Holiday To South-East Asia

Uni Student Celebrates Living in First World Country After Vacation to South-East Asia

A local university student has begun celebrating the fact that he lives in a first world country after returning from a month long holiday around South-East Asia. Darren Hill, 19, currently studying a bachelor of psychology at UTS, expressed his gratitude for Australia’s standard of living, going into detail on what …

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Are Tea Drinkers Cooler Than Everyone Else?

The thing about tea drinkers is that they think they are so much cooler than everyone else. They yell from their high horse “look how much better I am because I don’t drink coffee, I don’t even know what a latte is.” Well it’s time to set the record straight. Here is what …

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Ten Questions with Reece Owen Jansen

Hey guys! We are nearly towards the end…well almost because we have those wonderful exams to look forward to! *note sarcasm* Anyway, this week I met Reece who delighted me with his answers on what the world should focus on; should ketchup be in the fridge or pantry; and does …

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Why Should You Watch: Preacher ?

Number 1: It Makes Zero Sense Here’s a list of things I found rather strange to happen in Preacher’s pilot episode . Deep breath and: A Home-made rocket launcher, an African Preacher exploding onto his congregation, a plane fight complete with medieval weaponry and someone doing a rather accurate impression of …

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Two Lessons I’ve Learnt from The Office

Exams are looming, empty word documents are open on your computer screen and you’ve accidentally gone over the allocated break on your pomodoro timer. What better inspiration to motivate yourself than looking back on the lessons to be learnt on The Office. They might not help you through any of …

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Why Should You Watch: Game of Thrones ?

Number 1: Your Friends Will Stop Bugging You. Hopefully Let me set the scene. There’s a really popular show on at the moment. All your friends are watching it. You haven’t. Every day, every single day they keep on telling you to watch the show, and you always make an …

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Review: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

During the dark, dark period of mid-semester assessments, one golden light shines through: Season Two of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Just released on Netflix, Kimmy Schmidt Season Two continues the story of Kimmy, the perkiest kidnapping victim ever to grace your computer screens. Created by Tina Fey and Robert Carlock, the …

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Travel Diaries: A Real Cliffhanger

I had arrived in Switzerland just 2 days earlier and, nestled in the small village of Lauterbrunnen at the foot of the mighty Alps, my friends and I had finally come to the decision not to go skiing on our day off. I don’t think anyone truly wanted to be …

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Why Should You Watch: Daredevil ?

Number 1: The Fight Scenes are Amazing In the first season you’ve got one of the most well choreographed single shot fight scene with Daredevil. In season 2, you have 2 totally bad-ass fight scenes that just leave you drooling. It’s not just the choreography, its the realism in the …

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Interview: Akmal Saleh

Blitz Radio sat down with a comedian so popular that like Beyoncé, he’s often referred to on a first name basis. Akmal spoke with us about his immigration to Australia and what’s it like coming from an academic family where despite your success you’re still considered the ‘loser’. How did …

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