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Tag Archives: fake

Sweaty Bloke Concerned About Winter’s End

Sweaty Bloke Concerned About Winter's End

A resident sweat prone man and white t-shirt enthusiast has raised concerns about winter’s end for obvious reasons. Arthur Tillman, 31, has reportedly been tracking the incrementally rising August temperatures, and warns those with a similar condition to take heed. “This is ridiculous,” says Tillman. “The weather forecast has seen …

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Study Shows ‘Imagine Dragons’ Were Never Good

Study Shows 'Imagine Dragons' Were Never Good

A UNSW FASS study has indicated that trashlectric pop and alternashit rock band, Imagine Dragons, were never actually good. This comes to public knowledge in response to an overwhelmingly increasing rate of complaints by fans and otherwise regarding their supposed “… decline…”. “We felt we had a civic and humanitarian duty …

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Wholesome Bloke In Early Thirties Still Calls Mate’s Parents By Title Surnames

Wholesome Bloke In Early Thirties Still Calls Mate's Parents By Title Surnames

A wholesome local bloke in his early thirties is reportedly still calling his mate’s parents by their title and surnames despite having known them for well over a decade now. Martin Greer, 33, was sighted taking his shoes off at the door, and sheepishly making his way to the couch …

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DIY Eateries Confirmed As Bullshit

DIY Eateries Confirmed As Bullshit

A groundbreaking study by ANSTO has confirmed once and for all that DIY restaurants and self-proclaimed culinary experiences are in fact bullshit. This revelation comes to light as the recent trend reaches a fever pitch in popularity. Many have already become disillusioned with the concept of paying to cook their …

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Uni Contributor Runs Out Of Motivation To Compose Punchy Article

Uni Contributor Runs Out of Motivation To Compose Punchline Article

[Satirical set-up here, try make it topical and format the same way a news site would.] [Additional follow up joke to elaborate on premise– make sure premise is clear.]   [Fake quote from exaggerated character (A)– either really in on the concept or painfully oblivious.] [Build on character based on …

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Local Vegan Feasts on Cardboard and Disappointment

A local vegan has taken to pretending her steady diet of cardboard and disappointment “… isn’t as shit as it sounds…”. Joy Sarrandon, 31, accounts executive at a Surry Hills PR firm, is reportedly surviving on three square meals of Samsung delivery boxes with a side of unfulfilled hunger, supplemented …

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New Relief Fund For People With Bogan Names

New Relief Fund For People With Bogan Names

A relief fund has been founded for individuals unfortunate enough to be bestowed bogan names. The NGO known simply as For Unfortunately Characterised Kids Owning Failing First-names (F.U.C.K.O.F.F) comes public with this new monetary support system, with high hopes of alleviating the hefty burden associated with being terribly named. “It …

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Government To Tax Uni Students for Breathing

Government To Tax Uni Students for Breathing

With the announcement of the latest budget, many are outraged at the rising university fees, a consequence of severe education funding cutbacks. But the worst is yet to come, as Treasurer Scott Morrison just called a press meeting to introduce a breathing taxation on all university students nation-wide. “Oh boo …

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As Adulthood Approaches, ’90s Kids’ Finally Shut Up About Being ’90s Kids’

'90s Kids' Finally Shut Up About Being '90s Kids' As Adulthood Approaches

It comes as a sad truth, but self-proclaimed ’90s kids’ find themselves finally shutting up about being ’90s kids’. The cause? Adulthood, and all the demoralising shit that comes with it. Bleak employment prospects, impossible economies, and a volatile political landscape quite literally liable to explode at any moment, web …

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Students Shat On By Seagulls And The System

Students Shat On By The System And Seagulls

As if it wasn’t enough that the government pins uni students on the ground to squeeze girthy cables of debt and a dysfunctional housing market all over their chests on a daily basis, an unidentified perpetrator fed the seagulls at Central Station laxatives. The ensuing chemical reaction between avian life and …

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