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New Relief Fund For People With Bogan Names

New Relief Fund For People With Bogan Names

A relief fund has been founded for individuals unfortunate enough to be bestowed bogan names. The NGO known simply as For Unfortunately Characterised Kids Owning Failing First-names (F.U.C.K.O.F.F) comes public with this new monetary support system, with high hopes of alleviating the hefty burden associated with being terribly named. “It …

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Government To Tax Uni Students for Breathing

Government To Tax Uni Students for Breathing

With the announcement of the latest budget, many are outraged at the rising university fees, a consequence of severe education funding cutbacks. But the worst is yet to come, as Treasurer Scott Morrison just called a press meeting to introduce a breathing taxation on all university students nation-wide. “Oh boo …

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As Adulthood Approaches, ’90s Kids’ Finally Shut Up About Being ’90s Kids’

'90s Kids' Finally Shut Up About Being '90s Kids' As Adulthood Approaches

It comes as a sad truth, but self-proclaimed ’90s kids’ find themselves finally shutting up about being ’90s kids’. The cause? Adulthood, and all the demoralising shit that comes with it. Bleak employment prospects, impossible economies, and a volatile political landscape quite literally liable to explode at any moment, web …

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Students Shat On By Seagulls And The System

Students Shat On By The System And Seagulls

As if it wasn’t enough that the government pins uni students on the ground to squeeze girthy cables of debt and a dysfunctional housing market all over their chests on a daily basis, an unidentified perpetrator fed the seagulls at Central Station laxatives. The ensuing chemical reaction between avian life and …

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