Blitz UNSW, Blitz Magazine, UNSW, student, media
Home / News / Current Affairs

Current Affairs

New Relief Fund For People With Bogan Names

New Relief Fund For People With Bogan Names

A relief fund has been founded for individuals unfortunate enough to be bestowed bogan names. The NGO known simply as For Unfortunately Characterised Kids Owning Failing First-names (F.U.C.K.O.F.F) comes public with this new monetary support system, with high hopes of alleviating the hefty burden associated with being terribly named. “It …

Read More »
Gen-Y Caucasian Woman Proud of 3.125% "Foreign" Ancestry

Gen-Y Caucasian Woman Proud of 3.125% “Foreign” Ancestry

A local Gen-Y Caucasian woman has proudly announced her 3.125% foreign ancestry. The news comes as Samantha Daniels, 27, learns of her genetic history through dubiously factual gossiping over a family roast dinner this recent Easter break. “I always felt I was more in touch with my non-white friends,” says …

Read More »
'13 Reasons Why' Is A Set Back For Mental Health Awareness

’13 Reasons Why’ Is A Setback For Mental Health Awareness

WARNING: Spoilers, mentions of suicide, sexual assault, and rape. Whether or not you love to binge-watch TV series, you have probably heard about ’13 Reasons Why’. Based on the book, the 13 episode Netflix series depicts the reasons behind the main character, Hannah Baker’s, suicide. Since it’s release, the show has …

Read More »
The Real Housewives of Sydney Recap Episode 8: Muff Covers

The Real Housewives of Sydney Recap Episode 8: Muff Covers

This week on the Real Housewives: Forget Cointreau and Dom Benedictine, the secret to the perfect Singapore Sling is a healthy dose of Athena motherf*cking X Levendi. MARCO? We open to the glamour of everyone’s favourite not-really-but-kind-of sport, Polo. Krissy and Matty are strutting in slow motion,  straight to the …

Read More »
Australian Primary Schools Introduces History of Sporting Sledges to Curriculum

Australian Primary Schools Introduce History Of Sporting Sledges To Curriculum

The NSW Department of Education has announced that primary schools across the state will introduce Australia’s rich history of sporting sledges to the mandatory curriculum, in 2018. This proposed addition to what has been widely considered an “unexciting” national history learning outcome, has received an applaud from parents. “It’s perfect, just perfect,” says …

Read More »
Uni Student Celebrates Living in First World Country After Vacation to South-East Asia

Uni Student Celebrates Living In First World Country After Holiday To South-East Asia

A local university student has begun celebrating the fact that he lives in a first world country after returning from a month long holiday around South-East Asia. Darren Hill, 19, currently studying a bachelor of psychology at UTS, expressed his gratitude for Australia’s standard of living, going into detail on what …

Read More »
Students Shat On By The System And Seagulls

Students Shat On By Seagulls And The System

As if it wasn’t enough that the government pins uni students on the ground to squeeze girthy cables of debt and a dysfunctional housing market all over their chests on a daily basis, an unidentified perpetrator fed the seagulls at Central Station laxatives. The ensuing chemical reaction between avian life and …

Read More »
Review: Someone Like Adele

Review: Someone Like Adele

The ANZ Stadium cuts an impressive sight. More than a hundred thousand fans are all focused on the round stage. The screens display Adele’s closed eyelids and her signature (enviable) perfect eyeliner. After a long wait for everyone to be seated, the lights go out. The audience, on cue, freaks …

Read More »

St Patrick’s Day

St Patricks Day (March 17)  is the perfect time of the year to parade around in green, chuck on a shamrock top-hat, and dabble in an Irish jig. To celebrate the iconic day, we decided to answer the questions we’ve all asked about today. Before you follow the rainbow down to The Greenhouse …

Read More »

Seroukas Sermon: A Word on Football Hooliganism

If you took certain mainstream media’s news for gospel, you would think Australia’s “soccer hooligans” were creating mass terror in the streets of Australia. Even writing that sentence sounds imprudently asinine. But it’s happening: To compare a minority of football fans to terrorists in other parts of the world is simply …

Read More »

Pokémon Go: Escapism or the Beginning of the Future?

Pokémon Go: the virtual reality game that encourages millions of people to go outside, explore their neighbourhoods and compete and bond with fellow players while chasing virtual Pokémon. For many, the game is a trip down memory lane, and a childhood dream come true. Players tread in the footsteps of Ash Ketchum, …

Read More »

Seroukas Sermon: A Soldier’s Hardest Battle

41: that’s the number of Australian soldiers that died in combat during our time in Afghanistan. It is also the same number of returned Australian soldiers that have taken their lives in 2016. Let me unpack this a little more: In the same timeframe we have been in Afghanistan and …

Read More »

Seroukas Sermon: Welcome to Semester 2

Welcome to the first instalment of Seroukas Sermon, Semester Two edition! For those of you who read my stuff last semester, nothing much has changed. To my new readers, now is your chance to press CTRL + W. Or, if you’re a pretentious Mac user (guilty), hit Command+W. You’re still …

Read More »

SEROUKAS SERMON: A Guide to Minor Parties

So it’s that time of the year (decade?) where mainstream television, YouTube and now the free version of Spotify are inundated in political advertisements about how to vote and which candidate will save Australia from its fatal trajectory. And it wouldn’t be a federal election without at least one inflammatory, …

Read More »

SEROUKAS SERMON: We’re Killing Mother Nature

When you look back on history, there are several trends that were acceptable back in the day but today we look at them with disgust and bamboozlement. Slavery? How backward. The Stolen Generations? Diabolical. Gender inequality? Sure, we’ve made progress but we have a long way to go. Well, 200 …

Read More »

SEROUKAS SERMON: Lying & Broken Promises

The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don’t have to waste your time voting (Charles Bukowksi).  When I stumbled across this quote recently, I was skeptical at first. How can you not have …

Read More »

SEROUKAS SERMON: Eurovi$ion Sucks

There are quite enough real causes of trouble already, and we need not add to them by encouraging young men to kick each other on the shins amid the roars of infuriated spectators. George Orwell, The Sporting Spirit (1946) Hey guys, I’m thinking of writing a story and it goes something …

Read More »

SEROUKAS SERMON: Sydney’s Public Transport

A recent trip on a packed, dirty train made me realise Sydney’s public transport sucks. No, I thought to myself, you’re being cynical. But then… A recent trip on a packed, slightly-less-dirty bus to uni confirmed my belief that yes, Sydney’s public transport system sucks. For decades, state governments have …

Read More »

The Fortnightly Rant: Anzac Day

Anzac day for most people is now a distant memory, or still if you went ‘hard’ enough, a very distant head ache. I was one of the unlucky souls given the task of working on the day at a pub in a busy Sydney suburb where the soul desire of …

Read More »

SEROUKAS SERMON: Ethical Purchases

When you buy something organic, you’re paying for high-end, insecticide-free produce. When you shelf out that extra $3 for free range eggs, you’re doing so because these chickens have lived a spacious existence, right? Picture this: I’m Morpheus and I’m offering you two pills that make a proverbial fork in …

Read More »