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Southern Hospitality

Hospitality sucks. It just does. Let us brood in the pain together as I remind you of the painful realities of slaving away in the hospitality industry. CLEANING Hospitality is 10% service and 90% trying to look busy. In the fits of such a customer rush it seems as though …

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The Weirdest Foods Ever

The Weirdest Foods Ever

Food glorious food what a glorious strange feeling. Everybody loves good nosh, and with the Student Cookbook launch this week, we’ve all got food on our minds. But what about those meals that surpass the boundaries of gourmet, fusion or hipster cool right into the realm of weird food. Read …

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New Relief Fund For People With Bogan Names

New Relief Fund For People With Bogan Names

A relief fund has been founded for individuals unfortunate enough to be bestowed bogan names. The NGO known simply as For Unfortunately Characterised Kids Owning Failing First-names (F.U.C.K.O.F.F) comes public with this new monetary support system, with high hopes of alleviating the hefty burden associated with being terribly named. “It …

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Tech-free Life; The Beginning.

Tech-free Life; The Beginning

At around five in the afternoon the CBD starts to fill up with tired, empty faces. Edging forward in a weary shuffle; their last dregs of focus relinquished to small, silver screens.  From a distance it’s slightly strange and even sort-of sad. Not the emptiness mind you. Apathy is an extremely …

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The Real Housewives of Sydney Recap Episode 8: Muff Covers

The Real Housewives of Sydney Recap Episode 8: Muff Covers

This week on the Real Housewives: Forget Cointreau and Dom Benedictine, the secret to the perfect Singapore Sling is a healthy dose of Athena motherf*cking X Levendi. MARCO? We open to the glamour of everyone’s favourite not-really-but-kind-of sport, Polo. Krissy and Matty are strutting in slow motion,  straight to the …

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Australian Primary Schools Introduces History of Sporting Sledges to Curriculum

Australian Primary Schools Introduce History Of Sporting Sledges To Curriculum

The NSW Department of Education has announced that primary schools across the state will introduce Australia’s rich history of sporting sledges to the mandatory curriculum, in 2018. This proposed addition to what has been widely considered an “unexciting” national history learning outcome, has received an applaud from parents. “It’s perfect, just perfect,” says …

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Uni Student Celebrates Living in First World Country After Vacation to South-East Asia

Uni Student Celebrates Living In First World Country After Holiday To South-East Asia

A local university student has begun celebrating the fact that he lives in a first world country after returning from a month long holiday around South-East Asia. Darren Hill, 19, currently studying a bachelor of psychology at UTS, expressed his gratitude for Australia’s standard of living, going into detail on what …

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10 Reasons To Celebrate Being Single

10 Reasons To Celebrate Being Single

We all want some love and affection, but is it really worth giving up half your lifestyle? Here are 10 reasons why being single is so great, and a cause for celebration. You don’t have to spend money on anyone but yourself No longer do you have to spend your hard-earned …

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A Definitive Ranking of Celebrations Chocolates

A Definitive Ranking of Celebrations Chocolates

“Celllllabrate good times all right!” who doesn’t remember this catchy one liner from the delicious ‘Celebrations’ ad? Since the catchy jingle hit our television screens in the late 90’s these tasty little buggers have been making waistlines bigger and holidays better. Yet, as with any mixed boxes of confectionary, there are …

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Students Shat On By The System And Seagulls

Students Shat On By Seagulls And The System

As if it wasn’t enough that the government pins uni students on the ground to squeeze girthy cables of debt and a dysfunctional housing market all over their chests on a daily basis, an unidentified perpetrator fed the seagulls at Central Station laxatives. The ensuing chemical reaction between avian life and …

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Blitz Debates: Superheroes v Villains

Blitz Debates: Superheroes v Villains

Superheroes says Jade Barclay Superheroes and villains are both obsessive, driven by deep wounds, often they’re both orphans with PTSD (what’s with that!?). Both also act like they’re above the law. Villains innovate, strategise, take charge, and aim to conquer. But much like an addict, each plan must be greater, …

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Review: Someone Like Adele

Review: Someone Like Adele

The ANZ Stadium cuts an impressive sight. More than a hundred thousand fans are all focused on the round stage. The screens display Adele’s closed eyelids and her signature (enviable) perfect eyeliner. After a long wait for everyone to be seated, the lights go out. The audience, on cue, freaks …

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Divorced Father Sad Enough To Believe Pop-up Ads

Divorced Father Sad Enough To Believe Pop-up Ads

A divorced father of three and regular of the community speed dating scene is now sad enough to believe internet pop-up ads. Reports indicates that Ryan Gilroy, 47, owner of five corduroy trousers, has taken to investing a considerable amount of time towards adult themed spam, the likes of which …

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St Patrick’s Day

St Patricks Day (March 17)  is the perfect time of the year to parade around in green, chuck on a shamrock top-hat, and dabble in an Irish jig. To celebrate the iconic day, we decided to answer the questions we’ve all asked about today. Before you follow the rainbow down to The Greenhouse …

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Just In: Local Cricket Captain Only Gives it 200%

Just In: Local Cricket Captain Only Gives it 200%

Scandal reaches the shores of Cronulla, as a local over 20s cricket captain reveals that he only gave it 200% during a recent weekend match. Ben McLachlan, 23, was approached by the press for a post-match interview. He remained unsettled and rather evasive throughout the entire interview. After much perspiration …

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