There’s no denying UNSW students are tough. But which faculty is the toughest? Will students in your faculty live to see old age? Will they even make it to graduation? We took a closer look at each UNSW faculty and their chance at survival.
Arts & Design
Favourable aspect: Creativity. Their creativity and free spirit keeps their bodies healthy and stress-free.
Cause of death: Starvation. Unfortunately, that free spirit can’t maintain a body for long without the aid of food, much like the fact that an arts degree can’t maintain a paycheck.
Arts & Social Sciences
Favourable aspect: Working with people. Most of these students, whether they’re teachers or social workers will end up working with people. I’ve heard leading a social life increases lifespan. (Unfortunately having no experience with a social life myself, I can’t confirm this)
Cause of death: Heart attack after having to tell people for the millionth time that they can’t paint or draw.
Favourable aspect: Knowledge of sturdy foundations. These people will survive natural disasters, bombs and anything that life throws at them alike. They know the safest buildings to hide in. They’ve built them after all.
Cause of death: Falling off the edge of the world without anyone knowing. Unfortunately, they don’t have a memorable presence at UNSW (or in the world).
Favourable aspect: All the money! It’s a common fact that money equals happiness and happiness makes for a long life.
Cause of death: Alcohol poisoning. We’ve heard tales of the famous business society camp with and the flowing rivers of alcohol. Before business students get to the money-making part of life, they have to make it to graduation with functioning livers.
Favourable aspect: Safety in numbers. There are so many of them. They have so many buildings and so many degrees. It’s hard to imagine anything being able to break them (they know concrete inside and out, how to build bionic arms, their way around computer software, and so much more).
Cause of death: Electrocution, chemical poisoning, robot uprising, mining accidents,… Shall I go on? The list is as endless as their abilities.
Favourable aspect: Arguing with people for a living. It allows them to get rid of their anger and get paid for it. If that doesn’t increase lifespan, what does?
Cause of death: Murder. Unfortunately, lawyers aren’t the most popular of people.
Favourable aspect: They’re always near doctors. Whether they’re doctors themselves or they work with doctors, they have easy access to medical attention at all times.
Cause of death: Mental breakdown at university. With their exams, contact hours and years of what seems like never-ending studying, it’s not surprising if you don’t see as many of them graduate.
Favourable aspect: Science is their friend. If anyone discovers the secret of immortality, it’s bound to be one of them or they’ll be the first to know of it.
Cause of death: Isolation. These loveable nerds aren’t known to be the best with people. Not to mention, all those hours spent in a lab doesn’t lead to the best social life.
So, who do you think will outlive the others?
My money is on those YouTubers who don’t even go to university.