Braving the realm of uni for the first time can be daunting. For many, one of the biggest anxieties is the prospect of having to navigate new and unfamiliar social situations. To help ease your lingering anxieties, Blitz has composed a list of easy-to-apply tips and tricks for making fast friends in the first weeks of this semester.
Volunteering in one the various university organisations is an amazing way to make friends with students from all years, backgrounds and degrees whilst achieving a feeling of productivity by engaging with a broader cause.
The list of clubs and societies at UNSW are endless. Joining a club that sparks your intrigue is the perfect way to surround yourself with people who share your interests.
Alternatively, if you’re struggling to find a society that meets your needs you can simply feign interest in the interests of others. Everyone knows the best friendships are founded on deception and trickery. You like Kanye? I have a shrine dedicated to him in my room. You like ice cream? Mate, I LIVE OFF ice cream. You’re French? Parfait, je suis courrament. Into BDSM? Tie me up, the chains are in my bag.
Drive to uni
Helping someone in a time of need is the perfect way to exploit them at their weakest and become their hero, savior, and idol. By offering someone a lift home, you can isolate them for a long period of time and will have ample time to dazzle them with your inspiring personality. Also, if the friendship doesn’t progress at your desired pace, there’s no easy way for them to escape. Thus, you can easily knock them out and tie them to a chair in your room so you can have cute tea parties, braid each other’s hair and bond over mutual love for spontaneity for as long as your heart desires.
Dress to impress
Rock up to your first class wearing the shit out of an exclusive designer, custom made, off the runway, haute couture outfit that will leave everyone wanting to kill you, be you, or more importantly, befriend you.
Go to one of the session parties and bond with fellow students over beverage consumption, busted dance moves and sloppy decision making.
Word of caution: Always exercise high amounts of care, we take no responsibility for any of your actions at a session party.
If in the rare circumstance that all of the aforementioned tips fail, simply kidnap the loved ones of your potential friend and demand they accompany you to the cinema, so you don’t have to watch Fifty Shades Darker alone, like a creeper.
By Joshua Hauville