Uni can sometimes feel like a joke. A joke that’s mostly cruel and very rarely funny. Especially when it’s Week 9 and we’re still waiting for the mid-sem break. At times it feels like higher education is out to get you.
There is a conspiracy, and its against you. At least that’s what it feels like.
This feeling rears its ugly head most often when the assignments start piling up and you realise that they SHARE A DUE DATE.
How does your night-before-the-due-date work ethic work now?!??!
No explanation can soothe your wronged soul but here are a couple of (very legitimate) outlets for your pain
Your Course Conveners Are All Out To Get You.
Remember that time you chose an extra hour of sleep over making it to your lecture? Or that time you sidled in late? Yeah, they noticed. They took it to heart. Now you’re on their hit list.
Your Assignments Are All In A Moodle Version Of The Hunger Games.
A brutal reality in which they battle each other out for the Pass mark. One must fall(fail) for the other to survive.
Your Entire University Career Is An Endurance Gameshow.
How much can you take before you “die”? Or lose the very last scrap of your motivation and embrace a semi-vegetative state? Only assignments that share a due date will tell.
You did a terrible thing. So here’s a terrible thing in return.
A Sadistic, Twisted Way Of Letting You Enjoy That Bright Light At The End Of The Tunnel.
You hate your life. Words make no sense. Nothing matters anymore. What does proofreading even mean.
But then it happens….
You reach your word count. You surrender the survivors of your labour to the unforgiving caverns of moodle and turnitin.
You let the exhaustion and caffeine wash over you……
Your turnitin receipt appears…..and suddenly….the world exists again! Words make sense! Your bed is ready to forgive all that neglect and welcomes you back!
You have never known such happiness.