Blitz UNSW, Blitz Magazine, UNSW, student, media
Home / 2017 / Local Dickhead Complains About Friend With “First World Problems” More Than Friend Actually Complains About First World Problems
Local Dickhead Complains About Friend With "First World Problems” More Than Friend Actually Complains About First World Problems

Local Dickhead Complains About Friend With “First World Problems” More Than Friend Actually Complains About First World Problems

UNSW student, Enid Smith has made the bold declaration today that he was “sick and tired” of his friend Steve complaining about his “first world problems”, a term often used by dickheads to dismiss anyone with complaints that don’t involve starvation or poverty.

“I’m so sick of all these entitled people with their bullshit problems”, said Enid.

“The other day, my mate Steve told me that he broke up with his girlfriend and had just failed his assignment.’”

“I told him to get over himself because that’s just such a first world problem’”, continued the 3rd year Commerce/Engineering student.

“Sometimes I wonder why people can’t be more like those kids in Africa.They’re always happy and they don’t even have any access to basic shelter or medication.”

“It’s the same with those feminists, man. Like, shut up about the glass roof or whatever it’s called already, just be glad that you have a roof over your head!”

Enid’s friend, Steve Buttress, made an official statement about Enid on Monday 12 pm.

“I think calling him [Enid] a friend would be a bit generous.We went to the same high school a couple of years ago and he’s kinda just stuck around.”

“He once told me to go live in North Korea for a year to understand what real pain is when I said that my coffee was cold.” continued Steve.

“I don’t think he realises that his obsessive hatred for first world problems is actually in itself a first world problem too.”

Updates on the friendship or lack there of, to follow.

Comments

comments

About Henry Zhu

Check Also

Review: Baby Driver (Premiere)

An eager audience was packed into cinemas at Event George Street last week for the …