Used condoms on the ground, Smirnoff Double Blacks being spilt on my favourite pair of Vans and white girls throwing up everywhere.
That was my Listen Out experience.
Listen Out was my first music festival, so to be fair the expectations were quite high. I wore rose coloured glasses and expected a beautiful, clean day, and boy was I wrong. I did not realise how hard the festival life was. It was not the walk in Centennial Park that I had expected. Instead it was a long and arduous night.
My saving grace was my trusty VIP ticket. Before I got to the festival, I lowkey regretted getting a VIP ticket all it got me was express entry and access to a VIP area. Not to mention the fact that wearing the lanyard around my neck made me look like the biggest wanker. Trust me. A+ for wankerism.
But alas, arriving at Listen Out I realised that my VIP ticket was my one true love and who could live without it. I present to you the one perk that came with the VIP ticket that changed my life. VIP bathrooms.
Sure the condition of said bathrooms wasn’t great; God knows what lined the floors and toilet paper was a rarity (thank God for mum telling me to pack tissues). But the lines were incredibly short and that’s exactly what you want when you’re about to pee your pants and Bryson Tiller comes on in fifteen minutes. So if you ask me what the highlight of my day was, it was the moment when a female police officer pointed me in the direction of the VIP bathrooms and completely changed my life. Thank you random officer, thank you for your service.
I mean don’t get me wrong, the music was great, it was a wonderful experience. But the VIP bathrooms was definitely a highlight.
The cons of the day?
Besides the aforementioned used condoms littering the ground, the fact that my favourite Vans got ruined (I should’ve known better) and that there seemed to be people vomiting everywhere, the biggest disappointment was the food.
The selection of food was amazing: HSPs, nachos, vegan food, BBQ chicken, pizza, the possibilities were endless. Alas, it was my hot chips with tomato sauce for an extra dollar that left me largely disappointed. Not with the chips. Fried to perfection, crispy enough without dripping in oil, the fries were great. My problem, you see, was with my tomato sauce. Expecting ketchup, I was given literal tomato sauce. The type you use to make pasta and spread on pizzas.
In simple terms, I was shook. How could I continue eating the chips without the greatness of tomato sauce?
The answer is: quite easily, because I was bloody starving and needed to eat something before I passed out.
So all in all, sure maybe Listen Out didn’t live up to my expectations. But I didn’t think anything could quite compare to the music festival paradise I had come up with in my mind.
I would’ve liked less used condoms but I guess at least people are being sex smart.
Listen Out, see ya again next year.
Header Image: Joey Thompson