Blitz UNSW, Blitz Magazine, UNSW, student, media
Home / 2017 / How To: Survive First Year

How To: Survive First Year

Are you a first year tired of the side-eye looks you get whenever you stack it up the Basser Steps? Irritated by those seagull-eyed protestors/obscure society recruiters/overpriced food vendors who just won’t leave you alone? We’ve got a foolproof method for keeping those stink eyes away – because obviously, the best way to survive first year is to NOT look like a first year.

Never ask for directions, ever

You need to appear to know your way around, and asking for help clearly marks you up as an inexperienced first year. Lose the lost-puppy look. Walk with your shoulders aligned. Strut with confidence up those Basser Steps. (Oh, this door doesn’t lead to the bathrooms? Of course, I meant to walk into the cleaner’s storage room).

Wear the same clothes, every day

Who even has time to choose a different outfit for each day of the week? Wear something comfortable, aka something you would sleep in (always be prepared) and stick with it for a good six weeks. Better yet, don’t wash anything (the stench’ll keep those protesters away).

Leave everything to the last minute

The last thing you want todo is to look like an ultra-keen bean because you’re a first year excited to develop healthy long-term study habits! Plus, eye bags from pulling consecutive all-nighters is literally THE hottest look right now.

Make instant noodles your sole sustenance

Student budget, remember? You need to save your money for textbooks, the odd bake sale and those wild Roundhouse parties. Why spend money on being healthy when you can spend it on much more important things?

Never smile

Obviously uni life is weighing you down. Drop the optimistic attitude, cause the optimism is a foreign word to everyone older than first year. Pro tip – step into the shoes of an older student by thinking about grad jobs, or the prices of houses in Sydney.

 

Need some more tips/ life skills on surviving and adulting in general? Check out Arc’s How To Adult workshops on this week!

Comments

comments

About Tina Wu

Tina Wu
A First Year doing Media (Communications and Journalism)/International Studies. If she's not writing, you will probably find her reading a good book while drinking a cup of Earl Grey, checking Twitter or eating Oreos.

Check Also

Review: ALLDAY ft. Mallrat, Nicole Millar & Japanese Wallpaper

I don’t know if it was because Allday was joined with 3 killer supporting acts, …

2 comments

  1. This is the best article I have ever read.

  2. this is hilarious omg so true