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Flower Power: The Glamour of Flower Crowns

Flower Power: The Glamour of Flower Crowns

Spring has sprung. Plants are blooming, eggs are hatching and the sun is warming. More importantly it’s time to show your creative flair and penchant for being #freespirit with a flower crown. Like a normal crown, only without the royal title, self-dignity and and affluent material.

With a small amount of skill and a whole lot of flowers, these crowns are easy to make from home. This is one of the many reasons that flower crowns are my headwear of choice when blaring Lana Del Rey in my 1963 Chevy and wailing away the sorrows of winter.

When someone’s tasting your pepsi cola

Not fond of the feeling of plucked flowers rotting in your hair? No need to panic, you can snatch up a plastic flower crown from your local hot dollar to let others know your dedication to the hippie lifestyle of yesteryear.

She’s beauty

If you can’t afford such luxuries, there is always snapchat. The folks over there have realised the demand for such beauty and given us the gift of a flower crown filter, so that teenage girls and your mum’s friend who is desperately clinging to her youth can have poor quality, badly focused images with flower crowns for every form of social media.

She’s grace

Flower crowns are the most perfect for festivals. Such a headpiece shows the other attendees that your 9-year-old unicorn loving phase never has to end, even when smuggling bags of pills in your rectum and getting it on in a port-a-loo with a flanno wearing bogan called Johno.

She’s Miss United States

Flower crowns are also a political statement. Those who wear flower crowns don’t engage with politics, politicians are just stiffs in a suit. But they know a thing or two about activism, because people are people. They don’t see colour, or gender, or fashion sense; only love. Flower crowners also know that not everyone in the world is privileged enough to own such beautiful accessories and only wish that everyone could be treated to such luxuries #flowercrownsforall.

The last time a hippie preaching love wore a crown made from plants, he was nailed to a cross. But the world is more accepting now, thanks to the power of flower crowns and the saintly people who wear them.



About Joshua Hauville

Joshua Hauville
Mediocre at best, abominable at worst.

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