A groundbreaking study by ANSTO has confirmed once and for all that DIY restaurants and self-proclaimed culinary experiences are in fact bullshit. This revelation comes to light as the recent trend reaches a fever pitch in popularity.
Many have already become disillusioned with the concept of paying to cook their own meals as a group in establishments of supposed cuisine, rightfully dismissing it as nothing more than “… a gimmick…” and “… douchbaggery to the nth degree…”.
“If I wanted to give someone money to let me do their job, I’d pay my taxes again,” says Selena Brightman, 31, PR assistant. “Don’t piss in my pocket and tell me it’s raining, don’t make me assemble my own taco and call it modern dining.”
“The food is more overpriced than Martink Shkreli’s Gumtree listings,” comments Hayden Vee, 27, accountant. “I bet they have better grub in those Filipino prisons where they all dance like Michael Jackson instead of dropping soap.”
Not all are opposed to DIY eateries, however. Some find comfort in this new age charade.
“Awkward conversation with strangers, forced eye contact, mediocre food… I don’t know, I kind of like it,” says Garry Lu, 2o, university student. “Reminds me of family dinners at home… about the same levels of disappointment by the end of the night as well.”
Updates to come.