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An Ode To Motivation

An Ode To Motivation

What a vibrant, lovely thing you were

And how unjustly early you were taken from us.

I remember there were days,

At the beginning of the semester,

Where you were still with us.

You would move my legs all the way to 9. a.m lectures.

You would raise my arms to brush my hair.

You would inspire my eyes to remain open in tutorials.

***

Once, in the very first week,

You caused me to do what was called “optional homework”.

Thrice, you moved me to study prescribed readings.

You inspired me to sign up for a gym membership.

And buy my textbooks.

You had me thinking I would start each assignment a month before it was due.

***

But, of course, like so many beautiful things,

you were gone before your time.

Ah, Motivation! Why did you leave me so soon?

Now without you, I sit in my bed, in unlaundered pyjamas,

-That I wore to class yesterday-

My unwashed, unbrushed hair resembles a bird’s nest.

My gym card is lost somewhere in the world,

And it took me two weeks to notice it was gone.

I have two assignments due in three days,

And I’ve watched an entire tv show in the past week.

***

Mysterious Motivation! With you gone,

My Echo 360 is bursting with unwatched lectures.

And my Moodle page, exploding with unseen material.

I’ve forgotten what my tutor looks like.

And sometime last week,

I discovered what I use as a cutting board

Has been my psych textbook all along.

***

Now, with every second, finals loom closer.

And without you, Motivation, all I can do is sit here,

Still single and short of breath,

from walking to the door to tip the pizza delivery guy,

And I repeat to myself over and over again,

“Academics aren’t everything.”

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About Shima Golmohamadi

Shima is studying Creative Writing and Psychology. In her professional opinion, It's extremely strange to write about oneself in third person. When she isn't writing stories, she is eating or sleeping, or she is anticipating the time when she can write, eat or sleep.

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