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The 5 Students You’ll Meet at Uni

There are over fifty-five thousand students at UNSW and you’re bound to have met all, if not all, most of these students.

The Contributor

A true hero, the Contributor steps in when that painfully awkward silence hits a tutorial discussion that is gaining momentum as it plummets straight into the well of nothingness. When your tutor asks an open-ended question and no one says a word, the Contributor will jump in and save your back time and time again, earning them the top class participation mark in the lead up to their MVP title upon graduation.

The Snake

A curious type, the Snake is that friend in your tutorial who strongly denies studying for that ridiculously hard exam and claims they put no effort into anything, yet mysteriously earns High Distinctions on every single assessment. The Snake commiserates with you when you complain about how rushed your essay was, yet still won’t admit to studying, despite the 30-mark difference between your results.

The Passenger

More frustrating than the snake, the Passenger happily glides along in group projects, agreeing with everything yet failing to ever actually do anything. Infuriatingly easy-going, the Passenger ends up with a Distinction because of everyone else’s hard work, is subliminally unaware of their luck, and is guaranteed to end up in your group every single time.

The Mature Age Student

Mostly nice, sometimes terrifying, the Mature Age Student (M.A.S) will make you feel like you have the life experience of a fly. The M.A.S. has lived in Peru for two years, worked in seven different industries, and will hit you mid-tutorial with an opinion that turns your contribution to dust, destroying your argument in approximately two point two-three seconds flat.

The Socialiser

A.K.A. the person who’s just there for “uni culture,” the Socialiser attends every single session party and basically lives for O-Week. Likely to show up to class wearing thongs, they do lunch at the Quad, have drinks at the Whitehouse, and usually either live on campus or just voluntarily stay at uni from 9 to 5 every weekday.



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