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Guide for the Lazy: How to Dress Smart for a Gig Without Trying

Couch potatoes, homies too lazy to look gig chic and plainly slothful peeps, I am back once again to make the best out of your concert experience! All you have to do is to kickback, relax and laze on because this is the perfect guide to dressing concert smart, the easy way.

The Hair Issue

Short hair peeps, you have it easy.

Long hair folks, put your hair up in a bun or a ponytail. You’ll thank me later when you’re stuck in a mosh pit on in between two overly giant people and it feels like a bad sauna. Plus side of having your hair up, your hair will be free from soaking up dirty sweat and gross spilled drinks and you may potentially achieve the sleek back effortlessly chic ponytail look. Well, potentially.

De-accessorise

Remove all clunky accessories and random dangerous piercings because you don’t want a blood bath nor a murder scene. We don’t need the CSI crew involved here.

Take off your rings, over the top necklaces and other possible accessories that make you look like a Christmas tree. This ain’t Christmas and you wouldn’t want your favourite ring to join the rest of the fallen soldiers on the ground, ready to join the garbage bin.

Tops & Bottoms

The easiest and laziest trick in the book is to wear the performer’s face splattered across like a Jackson Pollock painting. That immediately makes you 50 percent cooler and there’s your ticket to the in-crowd. Sneaky eh?

Other than that, you have the liberty to wear a comfortable fitting shirt that satisfies the ‘not too big, not too small’ rule that was theorised in last issue’s guide. Once that has been achieved, you will be free from looking like a potato sack or a sausage roll.

Moving onto bottoms. Yes, jeans and pants are obvious great choices but the problem arrives when you’re 30 minutes into the show and it feels like your clothes got stuck in the tropics and the monsoon season of sweat just came by to say hi. That’s when all the regrets come trickling in. You don’t want a swimming pool of sweat under your clothes. Opt for shorts or a skirt instead.

Pockets

Find an outfit with many pockets so that you can party without feeling like your sledgehammering people around you with your bag.

Footwear

No thongs my friend. Unless you want to bid your overpriced pair of Havaianas goodbye then yes you may wear them.

Lesson here is to choose comfortable shoes. Honestly, no one care about feet. They are so far down, no one truly knows what they look like, so wear what makes you feel good because you’re swanky, cool and lazy like that!

 

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